simpsons mister sparkle homer simpson
 Hey! Here we go! Apple has done it again.

If there is one thing I really want, it's an I-Pod that my dog can swallow....

Then you get to know the fun if looking thru your yard for the pile that has "Sweet Home Alabama" playing from it...

I Stand Humbled! THIS Guy Knows How To Give A Passionate Movie Review!
simpsons mister sparkle homer simpson

I have to admit! As much as I may not like some films, I can't see myself going THIS far to give it a bad review....

And frankly, I didnn't think Watchmen was THAT bad...


simpsons mister sparkle homer simpson
So! Does anybody have any plans regarding Wrestlemania this Sunday?

I know that more than a few of you are wrestling junkies out there...

When working at Wizards of the Coast, I used to host an annual Wrestlemania bash for anybody who wanted to come out for it. It started as a store crew party and grew from there. But those days are gone. The old WotC crew has scattered to the four winds, and I am left wondering who will be watching Wrestlemania, and weather I should order it for myself, or if there is somewhere to go and see it...

Any input?

A Bloodless Coup - Depose "KINGS"
king of bulldogs
 Well, after three episodes I am announcing my coup!

I shall be KING of my television again. And how will I do this?

By overthrowing this craptacular overhyped, overblown, tyrant known as "KINGS" (8pm / NBC)

I had hopes for this. A decent premise: "What if America had a king?"

At first they seemed to be doing a modern setting of David & Goliath from the bible. And also had a liberal amount of shakespearian drama thrown in, and performed a that level that would be impressive for a high school production, but overall came up very short.

As of episode three we have devolved into a lackluster rip-off of an Aaron Spelling prime time soap.

My biggest beefs? We know nothing about this "America". It is an alternate history, but that only works when you KNOW how it's an alternate history. I feel no connection to this foreign land that whose king is the guy who says "F*CK" all the time on "Deadwood". (Ian McShane who plays Swearinger on the HBO western drama).

And a court where everybody has their own agenda. Thats fine for a royal court drama (see "The Tudors"), but these intrigues are so painfully predictable, you have to believe the characters are completely dim for not seeing them...

No familiar locations. Again this goes back to this not really seeming like America. I wanted to see an America where there is a Statue of Liberty. Familiar cities, maybe renamed, but cities we know. I wanted to see Washington DC set up as a modern day Versailles. I wanted to learn each week what happened to OUR America where democratic government fell and was replaced by a monarchy. was it a threat from outside, or within? Was there alternate history where WWII turned out differently or was it a modern change? 

This is Shakespear with all the depth of "Dude! Where's my car?" but at least in the aforementioned piece of modern cinema, they did delve in to question and find a answer to where the car was! Alas, these are question or tepid networks will never answer...mostly for fear of offending somebody.  Kings I doubt will ever ask a question even this probing or try to answer it. They seem more interested in the supposed "shock" of referring to a "court" or that the king will make sweeping decisions on no authority but his own! (gasp)

NBC: We are not idiots. We may not have a king, but for god sakes, we know what one IS!

We also know good TV when we see it. This ain't it.
How far the peacock has fallen from the glory days of "Must See TV"

So as of now, I have deposed "KINGS" from my regularly scheduled viewing. 

simpsons mister sparkle homer simpson
A"heads up" for those men who may be regular Home Depot customers.

Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.

Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to look.

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say "No" and instead ask you for a ride to another Home Depot. You agree and they get in the backseat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet. I had my wallet stolen November 4th, 9th,10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, & 24th 29th. Also December 1st, 4th, twice on the 8th, 16th, 23rd, 26th, 30th, three times last Saturday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful.

P.S. Walmart has wallets on sale 2.99 each

I find that posting funny things like this on my LJ is better alternative to flooding peoples email with it...


To Good To Not Share...
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Watchmen Fans....

Scott Kurtz did this today, and it was just to inspired and hilarious not to share with all of you

You can see his webcomic PvP at www.pvponline.com

Pączki Day
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Happy Pączki Day to all my fellow Detroiters!!!

If you are one of my non-D buds, friends or associates then you need to be aware that Pączki are basically polish donuts. Pączki Day is held on Fat Tuesday and is a major Detroit thing thanks to the Polish enclave of Hamtramck and all their fine bakeries.

What do you do on and how do you celebrate Pączki day?

You eat a lot of Pączki!!
Thats a holiday I can get behind!! In reality, since sweets were a common thing to give up for Lent, Pączki day was a standard last day blowout of eating what you were going to give up, and the idea of Pączki day was started by bakers to help them before Lent when they would take a hit to the bottom line (since bread would soon be the only high-demand product, and bread was not known for being a big profit-margin item. It soon grew into a cultural phenomenon/tradition. If you can got see the Pączki day parade in Hamtramck!

(Pączki is the plural form and is pronounced Poonch-key. There is a singular form, but over the years in Detroit, Pączki is now used for both!)

Now, if you'll excuse me I need to see a man about a donut!

simpsons mister sparkle homer simpson
 I read this and could not believe it was being reported as news. Actually I believe it all too well. It's an example of manufacturing something to try and hype something else.

In this case, Harry Potter.

Supposedly, actors and people who work on the films thing the films are CURSED.

Below is the article in question, With my commentary added [In red text in brackets]...


Actors who have worked on the Harry Potter movies believe the films are cursed after a series of tragic deaths and mishaps over the years. [Uh oh... sounds like one of the UNFORGIVEABLE curses]

In the latest incident on Wednesday this week, Daniel Radcliffe's stunt double was left badly hurt after a freak accident on set at Leavesden Studios in Watford. [While tragic, one stuntman being injured in the course of 7 (was in connection to 'Deathly Hollows') movies is hardly an unusual event, especially when you consider that stuntmen are used in things that are dangerous... it's why they are called STUNTmen.]

Rob Knox who played the role of Marcus Belby in the yet-to-be-released Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince died after being stabbed in Sidcup in May last year. [At a nightclub after getting involved in a fight between his brother and a drunk club patron. Again tragic, but if you read the news, not too remarkable. Again, factor in how many actors have been part of the Harry Potter series over 6 films and how many were NOT killed in nightclubs. It's not as if he was at the club BECAUSE of his Harry Potter role.]

During filming of the sixth Harry Potter film The Half-Blood Prince shooting had to be axed after the set was battered by storms and then streakers and special-effects mistakes halted filming in Farnham, Surrey. [OMG! Rain and jackasses in England! And special effects that were not perfect the first time...undeniably the work of dark eldrich powers...]

Film bosses brought in ex-SAS body-guards to protect Daniel Radcliffe in March last year after he received a death threat from a stalker.
[An actor with a stalker? That NEVER happens! I mean if a putz like Pauly Shore can have stalkers, certainly Daniel Radcliffe can.]

Dumbledore actor Richard Harris died in October 2002 after losing his battle against cancer. The 72-year-old appeared in the two Harry Potter movies, The Philopsers’ Stone and the Chamber of Secrets. [My favorite... A 72 year old man with cancer dies in the course of shooting 8 films over 9 years... Again, while the loss of Richard Harris is tragic and a blow to the acting community as a whole, do you expect me to believe that he would be alive now if only he had not been in Harry Potter? For the record, he would have been over 80 by the time both Deathly Hollows movies were released. Also, he worked on TWO other movies after Potter. Maybe one of THEM was the cursed movie!]


Just something I wanted to point out!

Am I outraged? No.

Will I boycott the HP movies? No. 

It just annoys my sense of decent publicity mongering... as a trained adman, I know I could do better, and manufacture BETTER hype than this lame, hamhanded attempt... Half baked effort like this is why England lost the Revolution!



simpsons mister sparkle homer simpson

I don't feel any change....


False Alarm....it was just gas!

Insurance Quandry
simpsons mister sparkle homer simpson

I need to look for a new car insurance policy. I'm currently with Triple-A , but being anally raped has turned out to not be as fun as I had read. (note to self: must avoid prison at all cost.) So now I find myself looking for a new insurance company. Since all are going to bone me, I figure there is only one way to reasonably pick. Who has the best ad campaign, and thus the best possibly free swag (tshirts, tote bags, etc...)

Lets review

A: The Progressve Insurance Girl: Complete babe with the quirky-nerdy thing going.

B: Gieco Gecko: Funny. If real geckos were like this I would love to have one for a pet. However if they were like this, he would probably drag his water dish aback & forth against his cage and yell "Attiica! Attica!" all night long and when fed, retort with something like "Dead Bugs? How about a sandwich for a chage for f*cking bastard!"  On the other hand, anything that keeps those idiotic cavemen off TV is a-okay with me!

C: Erin Esurance: Simply the HOTTEST cartoon girl since Judy Jetson.

Well, this is my problem....which corporate icon will steet me right (HA! Get it? Car Insurace...Steer! See what I did there?)
Well, if anybody has an opnion on which one I should go with, sing out!

And if Anne Hathaway starts hawking insurance, by all means let me know!


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